My mind has gone to mush...

This week has been very overwhelming. I'm finding it harder to balance classes and my two research projects. Plus, I seem to have caught another cold or perhaps my old cold came back in force. I haven't been able to sleep as much due to these extra demands this week, and now my mind has turned to mush.

Mush, mush, mush. That is my mind. I've been trying to read about polytomous IRT models and my mind goes to mush. Normally, I can make some sense out of the book, but not now. Instead, mush. Mush. Mush.

My mind was mush in class on Tuesday and so I didn't talk much. I could not speak in coherent sentences. I must get more sleep tonight or my mind will be mush again for class tomorrow. My prof noticed I wasn't speaking in class and stared directly at me at one point. I'm getting better at reading him. That stare was an indication that he was expecting me to contribute something. Especially, since he picked an article that I expressed interest in during the previous class. So tomorrow, I must not let my mind be mushy in his class again.

Mush...mush.

On the plus side, I did manage to pull off a research colloquium with only two other people present. It was a little embarrassing to have so few people attend, especially since the head of the department was one of those attending (to support me and the Ed Psych Soc, I'm sure). The colloquium was on Formative Assessment, which is very interesting to me. I think it went very well, except for a few moments when I talked about a couple of things that the department head wanted to challenge. I don't really understand why he selected these things to challenge. The other graduate student was even surprised that he had to make sure I had considered certain things that she knew I would have considered (without a doubt!). Sigh! Grad students are given no respect. They really need to set the bar higher for grad students around here. It's like they think we don't know very much, and we can't possibly lead something as sophisticated as a dialogically-based research colloquium. The faculty advisor to the Ed Psych Soc repeatedly asks whether I'm going to get a professor to lead the discussion. (Nooo, we grad students can manage to discuss a topic together as colleagues with professors.) "I'm facilitating the discussion," I say. A look of fear, worry, and disbelief crosses her face for a split second. Le Sigh...

We're getting a new professor next semester who has expressed interest in forming a grad/prof salon. It's the same thing as a research colloquium, just a different name (unless there's some nuance I'm unaware of). Don't they realize the colloquium is currently student-led?

Oh, well...perhaps my desire to lead will be directed into some other outlet...