I think I made a mistake

I got my test back today and students did even worse than the previous test, if that was at all possible. And one of the students talked to me because the other students came to him and wanted him to talk to me, but they were afraid to talk to me themselves. They think the class is too difficult and they wanted to talk to the department head, but the student thought they should come to me first.

They are right, the class is too difficult and I have no idea how to gauge how difficult it is for the students. So I'm going to talk to the department head myself and ask him what to do about this test. I can't keep the grades going as they are; some students are failing, most are getting D's and nobody is getting an A.

To top it off, I got a speeding ticket today and I ran a red light and I didn't have insurance. So now I have a court date. And then I went to class and the professor asked each student to specify when they could have their papers done. He forgot that I changed my topic and I blustered through, trying to remind him in front of everybody that I changed my research questions and can't possibly have the paper done anytime soon.

So I went home and cried and cried and cried some more. I talked to my Dad, I decided to ask my other teacher for an incomplete, I decided to stay home and and work from morning till night every weekend for the rest of the semester. And then I made the mistake...I tried to explain that to my boyfriend and it came out wrong. It came out as if I was blaming him for taking up my time so that I am so behind right now. It came out as if I didn't want to see him. He went silent and I think I hurt him. And I think I made a mistake. But, it was self-preservation. If I don't push him out of my life, I'm not going to make it through the semester, and I probably won't graduate...if I even want to attempt that feat anymore.