Slightly Overwhelmed

Socially overwhelmed, that is. But, mostly angry. Angry at people. Angry at my advisor, who didn't tell me that my application to use the psych research pool had been sitting in her box for a week. A week that I had been waiting, patiently, as I watched the psych pool line up to sign up for other peoples' research. Research Associate #1 told me today that his application request had been returned to him in one day. I'm experiencing pangs as I write this. I could have been signing people up last week, but I didn't know that I could. I just can't begin to describe how much it bothers me to have to depend on others who consistently flake out on me. Just last week, Research Associate #2 failed to show up to her testing session and I had to try to test two people at once. But, that doesn't even begin to touch the angst I'm feeling about this situation.

See, I go way back with my advisor. I started working with her as a freshman. But, I always felt like I couldn't depend on her, and I had to make my own way. I got a little egotistical about it, too; I'd think I knew more than her. Silly me, how could I possibly know more than an established full professor? Then I left. But, I came back and started right back up with her. During the time I was gone, I worked out my narcissism issues. And I thought things would be different this time if I just changed my attitude. But, I think that this incident caused everything in the past to flare back up again. I was once again at the receiving end of her flakiness, and it cost me some time, resources, anything. It just cost me. And I feel once again that I can't depend on her, for even something as small as communicating to me the contents of her mailbox if it pertains to me. Sigh...

The other thing that set me over the edge was an email I received from a participant. She wanted to know whether today's session that she signed up for was the follow-up to one study or if it was for the other study. Because she decided that she didn't want to come to the other study, but she still wanted to do the follow-up. Please, where is your tact? I'm so tired of dealing with participants who either don't show up or who pull rude things like this, expecting me to bend over backwards to accommodate them. Why can't I just have all the good students who want to help me out by participating? She never showed up.

I don't want to go through the hassle of collecting data anymore. I just want data. Give me data to play with. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?