I really am a project manager

I just recently started the GRA job and I thought that I was going to answer to the other graduate student involved in the project. The Project Coordinator gave me that impression because the other grad student had content expertise and previous experience, whereas I...well...I don't know anything about our project. So I let the other grad student contact me first and followed along with her attempts to coordinate a time to talk over the phone. But, when we finally did talk over the phone, it became apparent that she wasn't exactly going to lead this thing, so I took over (as I always do, it seems...hmm, is it ever possible to have a collaboration where there is no obvious leader?). So anyhow, when we met with our Project Coordinator over IM, I lead our end of the deal again. But, I don't think I really want to be leading one more thing. Okay, maybe I do want to be leading, it seems so natural to me.

My Advisor rustled up three undergraduate students for us and ever since then I've been far more excited about leading the research group. I wonder if perhaps I was holding back because I feel strange about leading a group of graduate students when I'm still a graduate student myself. I'm not even a postdoc. I'm just glad that the undergrads can take the bulk of the testing responsibilities because the other grad students are more busy this semester and grad students should minimize their role in testing and maximize their role in supervising.

Now I have such a strong urge to get these projects going. I want to finish all my projects this semester and move on to writing them up for publication. I'm actually tired of collecting data, and for the first time, I've decided that I don't want to be conducting research next semester. I want to be teaching instead. Shocker, I know. I'm not that good at multi-tasking and I've never really attempted to take classes, conduct research, and teach all in the same semester. I just don't think it would be possible (which is why I'm so concerned about the neuropsych externship, GRA, research, collaborations, and classes this semester). So next semester I want to support myself by teaching and then take classes and prepare a dissertation proposal (I'm not going to wait until I'm done taking classes to start the dissertation or I'd be in school forever).

I just wonder how hard it will be on me to give up my role as project manager. Hmm, I'll have to figure out how to channel that into teaching. And I'd better start enjoying teaching more, too. We'll see....