Embarassing

It's so embarrassing to reveal my weaknesses. I went to the doctor today and felt very ashamed to circle "yes" on questions about feeling anxiety and depression. The doctor was great though. I'm glad I looked for a different doctor. The doctor I saw last semester didn't even question me about my symptoms. He just wanted to prescribe a sleep drug with anti-depressant effects and move on to the next patient. I told this doctor that I was willing and eager to try anti-anxiety/anti-depressant drugs. I just want to be able sleep at night. I only had three hours of sleep last night and I feel horrible today. The doctor thought we should treat the anxiety/depression first and the sleep should follow. She prescribed the same medication that my husband is taking to control his acid reflux, and he doesn't experience any side effects of the drug. She said it would take about a month to build up in my system, so I'll take a fast acting drug for a month and then stop taking it once the first drug is working.

She also drew blood to test my thyroid. Apparently, changes in thyroid functioning can lead to increases in weight, irregular periods, and changes in mood. Even if the thyroid is not the problem, she thought the serotonin should stabilize at higher levels in 6 months to a year and I might not need the drugs after making it through these significant life changes.

I'm really hoping that this drug will help me get back to the person I am when I'm not anxious about teaching. Now that I'm definitely in this job for another year, I want to be able to function during the day and not live under a cloud of constant anxiety.