Teaching: "Sigh"

I met with another graduate student today who is teaching a different section of the same course that I'm teaching next fall. She wanted to meet with me to discuss the course and possibly collaborate on teaching it or at least share resources.

I thought that would be real nice, but I discovered one thing about myself upon meeting her. I STILL immediately compare myself to others in some internal competition to see who is the most intelligent. I though I had purged myself of that tendency before coming here. Looking back, I realize that tendency probably played a part in my failure to get along with the other graduate student in the old lab (but, she was also very mean, mind you).

My verdict in the internal comparison? She is more intelligent, knowledgeable, and accomplished than I. I would go so far as to suggest that she's a clone of me with some genetic enhancements.

Sigh...I'm a little disappointed in myself today. I don't think I handled the meeting well. I think I appeared opinionated and haughty while stumbling over my words in nervousness. Blech! I just wish the ikyness would go away.

Editor's note: Perhaps I am suffering from Imposter's Syndrome.