Ugh! Not feeling too good right now.

This is bizarre. I couldn't sleep last night. I played on the internet and drank Dr. Pepper constantly. Before I knew it, it was 4am and I still wasn't tired. Maybe I haven't had enough caffeine lately and my body wasn't prepared for the onslaught of caffeinated beverages. Although, today after I got up around 11am, I was fine.

But, not right now. I feel tired and nauseous. I met with my prayer partner and had a good time, and then I bought dinner for The Comedian and brought it back to the computer lab where he works. Recently, I've been hanging out in the computer lab with The Comedian. It used to be that his jokes were too negative because they were meant as a put-down, but in jest. However, he seemed to figure out that he should tone things down a little for me. So I really actually had fun chatting with him because he would make me laugh all the time and I never took anything he said seriously.

I had some coffee with my prayer partner and it filled me up, so I didn't eat much of the food that I brought back. After dinner, The Comedian showed me how to close down the lab, since I'm going to start working at the computer lab soon, taking over his hours since he's leaving for an internship. We were about to leave when my boyfriend comes walking down the hall. The Comedian ups the ante and starts teasing my boyfriend mercilessly. Of course, it doesn't faze my boyfriend at all and he just simply began sparring with The Comedian. I was so impressed with my boyfriend's quick wit and ability to make The Comedian laugh in return. But, the teasing took on more of that intensity and I shifted to observation mode, allowing the two to trade barbs without much input from me.

After awhile I became mentally and physically exhausted. My body began to wilt. I think it could have been because of the lack of sleep and lack of food, but I remember that this same thing happened awhile back and I blogged about it. I was tired and hungry and as soon as my boyfriend and The Comedian began to spar, I began to wilt.

There are a few things that I think are going on here. For one, I sometimes think I'm not that intelligent because I often have difficulty expressing myself verbally. I get flustered and unable to find the words I need to express my idea. When the intensity level rises, my ability to communicate plummets. My brain simply shuts down. Sometimes I can't even hold up my part of a normal everyday conversation. So when The Comedian upped the ante with my boyfriend, I felt like I could no longer contribute intelligently to the conversation.

I also think there is something that was going on at a spiritual level. The Comedian's jokes are designed to poke fun of you in jest, so even though you can take it lightly, it still puts you on the defense. And it's founded on negativity. Certainly not meant to build you up. I really think that it drains my spiritual defenses. None of it was directed at me, but nonetheless, it still drained me to be in the presence of it and witness it directed at my boyfriend. Luckily, it didn't seem to drain my boyfriend. He can take a joke at his expense it just rolls right off him.

Sigh, I'm starting to feel slightly better, less nauseous. I may have another banana and go to bed.