100th Blog Post!

This here blog post represents the 100th time I have posted online since starting "Life, the Universe, and Everything." I think it's rather ironic that it comes at a time when my blogging has been dwindling. I was looking through the past entries because I was entertaining the idea of creating a "Best of this blog" section of links, and I find that the majority of my writing is no less than a typical journal entry about recent goings-on in my life. Really, how interesting is that to the masses that don't know me and can't relate to being in grad school? And secondly, my writing style is wildly varied. My writing seems to capture a small moment in my life and reflect my emotions and mental state, from serious to funny to outrageously nonsensical. I think it's rather amusing actually. But should I adopt a specific style? Spend more time honing my posts to perfection? Talk about wider arrays of topics? Attempt to draw in readership? Create a better design? Eh! I propose going with the flow.

Sigh...my little students are all grown up and leaving the nest

My FSI students presented today. I felt so proud of them! They did fantastic presentations. I'm going to miss them so much. Wednesday is their open-house poster presentations and then it's all over. Sigh, it felt like they were becoming permanent fixtures in my life, and perfectly delightful fixtures at that. Here's to your future, FSI students; may it be everything you want it to be and more.

It's been awhile...

Since I last posted. Recap...This is the last week that I met with the Frontiers of Science students. I really miss them already. I'll go to their PowerPoint presentations next week and that's it. Sigh...Mentoring high schoolers turned out to be really rewarding this summer. Now the project we were working on has stepped up a notch. We're testing college students next week and I'm only leading two other undergrads, both of whom have just graduated. It may be mentoring, but without requiring the same level of supervison and assistance. I love mentoring on all levels.

I got my hair cut today. The hairstylist asked the obligatory questions about me. She pegged me for a counselor immediately. I'm not a counselor, nor am I studying to become one, but she is certainly not the first one to assume I'm a counselor or suggest I should become one. I actually think I'm too empathic to be a counselor. I would not be able to divorce myself from my work. I'd be mulling over other people's problems and become consumed by it. But, sure, if you want to tell me your problems, go right ahead.

I've moved in a new direction for research. Introducing....working memory deficits in diet restrictors/anorexics. Wait, I'm in an Ed Psych program, right? Yeah, but I get to work on neuropsychology and cognitive psychology, too. I'm sure I'll do my dissertation on something related to education, maybe...hehe. I'm just glad to be back here, doing a doctoral program in a department where none existed previously. I never in a million years thought I'd actually come back to the same department I left after my masters, though I had wished it. It must have truly been a divine act of God. I'm so glad God is in control.

What the heck does North Korea think it's trying to do?!?!

North Korea actually did test fire it's missiles. It is an interesting coincidence that the missiles were launched within minutes of the US's shuttle launch of Discovery on America's Independence Day, no less(Reference Link). The largest missile, believed capable of carrying a small nuclear payload to the US mainland, malfunctioned a few seconds after the launch. It is unknown whether North Korea does have the technology to attach a nuclear warhead to the Taepodong-2.

In the previous days before the launch today, North Korea stated that if the United States made a preemptive attack to disable the launch, then they would respond with "a relentless annihilating strike and a nuclear war" (Reference Link).

Obviously, North Korea is acting very intentional, provocative, and aggressive. We shall see how the US responds as well as the countries that have been trying to engage North Korea in the 6-party talks about it's nuclear programme (Japan, South Korea, China, the US, and Russia). Strange that North Korea desired to engage in bilevel talks with the US only and refused the US's persistence to engage in multilevel talks. Now North Korea has allegedly timed it's missile launch with the Discovery launch.

Hmmm....

Or maybe my family's not that bad after all...

I talked to my older sister on the phone to say we weren't coming. I only vaguely explained it as a logistical problem of making it down there. She was disappointed and tried to see when the next time was that we could visit them. So I think she is probably perfectly fine with my boyfriend and I was just jumping to conclusions based on her past behavior (she might have been tired and stressed out when we last talked). I sure am glad now that she doesn't read my blog.

I've been allowing myself to get all worked up when I shouldn't. Or perhaps the devil has been more successful with his attacks on me lately. This is all just too personal, and I haven't been able to step back and see things from an objective standpoint. I think I've been feeling too much pressure from the meeting of the families.

I need to take a break and rejuvenate. And pray more.

Actually, maybe it's just my family...

I've decided not to visit my sisters for this 4th of July weekend. I just felt like their hearts weren't open to receive my boyfriend as he is. I know they were just concerned about me and that they love me. But, the timing is just not right. I think there's just a little too much anxiety going around. Their comments led to an argument between my boyfriend and I last night (let me clarify that, it was more like a logical debate). So I've been on an emotional roller coaster the last 24 hours. But, my boyfriend and I are fine. I just have to figure out how to tell my sisters I'm not coming without offending them or sounding like I'm blaming them. I want to be truthful, rather than vague, but soften the content somehow.

I also worked some things out with my boyfriend. Some of it was just my own misperceptions of his behavior and words. He's not being critical of me to be malicious. He's just constantly in research mode, critiquing everything, particularly appearance because he is interested in visual literacy (which is all about the appearance of something, anything). And also because it is very cultural. Where he comes from, everyone wears the latest fashion, the best brands, and slathers on the cosmetics.

One thing I've learned is that words carry a lot of weight, even the words that go unspoken. And sometimes it is better to confront someone than stew in silence, because what you are stewing about can be completely unfounded. Talking can clear up misunderstandings on both sides. Boldness is a good thing.